Today, May 4, we’re still under lockdown in much of the world. Unless you live in New Zealand, it’s very possible that where you live the fight against coronavirus is still not at an end. And it’s ugly: not only because it’s still putting at risk all the ones that are working and helping to keep society more or less functional (thank you all essential workers taking risks daily!), but because of the lockdown itself for those of us who are luckier and can stay home.
The unpredictability of the future and the fragility of our reality are staggering. Every day we leave behind a little bit of what we took for granted. Still, I believe, truly believe, that this is a period that won’t happen very often. I also want to believe that, to be honest. Because, with everything else aside, I consider this to be like “pausing” life for a moment, I think it’s the perfect time to have a much-needed conversation with our selves and reconsider some or much about our lives. That is if we’re privileged enough to do so and mentally in a place where we can do so.
Probably my situation is slightly different than yours: on March 2, I went with my husband to an airport, with lots and lots of suitcases and a group of our closest friends bidding us farewell. We left Mexico to begin a life in a country where we had never been before, but where we had placed all of our hopes. We consciously left behind all that we knew. (Migrating in times of a global pandemic, a topic for another day). We are extremely fortunate and blessed to have caring friends that have welcomed us to stay with them until times get better.
Not all of us are in the same situation. For some, it is a whole lot more complicated to reconsider different aspects of life, because of previous obligations or just because they can’t emotionally process it as of now. That is completely valid and, if you need even more ideas of how to cope right now, here I summed up 5 different actions you can take right now.
However, if you have the chance and the will, I truly believe it’s worth to have this inner conversation now. This is a situation that, if we’re honest, doesn’t come along all that often.
Let’s be clear: this is not about keeping up with that horrible meme that was around at the beginning of this lockdown. You know, the one along the lines of “if you haven’t learned a language… done this, done that… you weren’t missing time…”. No. This is not about doing or showing the world what you did because you had the privilege to stay home while others suffered from social distancing or risked their lives. It’s not about “go to your bed and watch Netflix 24/7 because everything is horrible”, even when it is horrible. Unless you’re really not functional for more than that, which is completely valid.
It is normal to have more anxiety, insomnia, stress, and all those uncomfortable or downright horrible feelings now than what we had in February when everything was “normal”. Strive first for better mental health. Try different methods that may help you feel better: communicate, meditate, nourish yourself, and move. And, that being said, please look for professional help if you need it to cope right now.
Have a drink with yourself
Set apart a chunk of time where you can be with yourself. Go to your kitchen and prepare your drink of preference. It may be tea (like mine) or maybe a gin tonic o just a glass of water. Maybe have a notepad or a piece of paper, if you think that could help set your ideas on order, and put your phone on plane mode if it’s prone to be a distraction. Then, have a bit of a chat with yourself and enjoy it.
This conversation is about reconsidering things about your life that are not necessarily how you want them to be. Only if you feel like you are in a position that allows you to do so, where you’re comfortable doing so. This is not about being overproductive to tell the whole world and neither about giving in to misery and suffering just for the sake of doing so. It is about having an intimate conversation with yourself that you don’t have to publish anywhere. It just needs your understanding of yourself, more self-compassion (not self-pity). Just looking at where you are and where you want to go.
Ask yourself some of these questions, and all the other you think are relevant:
- What have you actually missed about the life you were leading?
- What aren’t you missing, especially if it’s something you would have thought you would miss more if asked in January or February?
- What seems to be the most important thing right now?
- What would you change from your old normal, when the post-lockdown life is open again?
- Can you start something now? Maybe it is a small step, like changing something of your diet or exercising a bit with one of the many free apps.
Something to remember: things don’t magically happen just because you think of them. Set out a plan for the things you want to change and can change. Or write down an objective or a statement that sums it up if that works well for you. Or do both. Write an action plan.
If possible, take some action today. And maybe share with your partner or someone close when you’re done and are clear on what you want. When you’re about to change some aspects of your life, the support of your closest and most beloved may be crucial.
After all, you may end up looking for a day job, while inaugurating a digital print shop and blog, and starting your studies to become a doula in a whole new country.
Come to think of it, maybe have the same conversation with your partner (if you have one), after you have it with yourself. Invite him to have the same conversation with himself. Perhaps he wants to change some things up as well and you can put some objectives and goals in common about what you want to do differently.
Above all, enjoy it. You’re here. You get to think about what you want. Want to share a thought about it?
The photo from the featured image is Flower photo created by freepik – www.freepik.com
